it's jokes
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.
Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...