it's jokes

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

Ahhhhh shit! IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all!

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.

Why was six scared of seven? Because 7 ate 9. Why was 10 scared? Because it was between 9/11.

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!