it's jokes
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.
why did i laugh at this? this is alot like someone I know.. hmm- ( in the cmmts write who u think it is!)
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."