it's jokes
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
It would be fun, they said...
It was unsinkable, they said...
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!