it's jokes
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.