it's jokes
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
How did the hipster burn his lips?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!