it's jokes
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.