it's jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!