it's jokes
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground? A bolder choice.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.