it's jokes

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.

He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."

Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?

Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?

Think about it, lol. Haha.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"

The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.

Why is a tomato red?

Because it saw the ranch dressing!