it's jokes

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?

A mosque after a missile strike.

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

Abortion is not murder; it's canceling a pre-order.

Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

Why is Roblox so blocky? Because it "ro-block."