it's jokes
Emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?
Why?
Because it would be useless. :)
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
Butter believe it.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.