it's jokes

Antidote

200 views ·

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

Blood Type

1644 views ·

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

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  • Rape

    48 views ·

    Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

    The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

    Bruise

    26 views ·

    One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

    Rack

    7 views ·

    "It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

    Glass Ceiling

    2 views ·

    I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

    Russia

    7 views ·

    I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

    Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

    Viagra

    57 views ·

    We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.