it's jokes
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.