it's jokes
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
Q: Why is Saturn a boy planet?
A: Because he has a nice ring to it.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.