it's jokes

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

Why do orphans play tennis?

Because it's the only love they get.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.

The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.

How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Why do orphans hate family-size candy?

Because they can't share it with their family.

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

Bring out your weapons, people.

It's bullying time.

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.

Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown.

Q: What is a cow?

A: A bad cow.

What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"

Your hairline is so big, it looks like the TITANIC.

Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.