it's jokes

Stripper

118 views ·

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

Hooker

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.

Dick

2 views ·

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

Kid

1 view ·

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Dick

672 views ·

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

Priest

107 views ·

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

Suicide

7 views ·

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

Suicide

18 views ·

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

Dream

117 views ·

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

Fetish

22 views ·

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"