IT jokes

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?

Cauliflower!

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay.

Yo momma so fat, I took a picture of her 1 year ago, and it's still printing.

If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

It didn't have the guts to do it.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."

Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!

Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?

Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"

Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.

When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.

Have you ever tried sex when camping?

It's f***ing intense.