IT jokes
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!
My peepee was big, now it's small.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.