IT jokes
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
Do it
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."
For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.
Jenga comes to mind, though!