IT jokes
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
Why is 6 scared? Because 7 8 9.
Why is 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.