IT jokes
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.