IT jokes

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.

About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.

About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...

But a creeper blows it up.

Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

I made a website for orphans.

Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.

Doctor: Congratulations!!!

Woman: Was it a successful delivery?

Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!

Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.