Irony jokes
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.