Intimacy jokes
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.