A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
A couple is on their first date. Man: How do you feel about sex? Woman: I like it infrequently. Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today. And treat others how you want to be treated! Rate your day scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
tell the person next to spell "me". When they do, say, "you forgot the D". They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "not yet". if this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." T he woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
In a deep village in Germany old man asked his granddaughter "what are you doing?". His granddaughter replies "removing polish with chemicals". Grandpa said when I was younI did the same.
i tried to high five my emo friend but he just left me hanging
The daughter walks up to her father and he asks him “Dad can I ask you something?” The father says “Of course, what’s your question?” The daughter replies and asks “How do you feel about abortion?” The father says “Why don’t you ask your sister?” The daughter replies “I don’t have a sis-“
3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
I told a joke and some1 said "no one asked" then i said "no one would care to even ask"
This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different l Kinds and types of music willingly I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post if you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments
There was A disabled kid at my door he said I’m selling some cookies want to buy one I said well if you stand up sure
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
i was walking today and i saw a emo with a noose looking up at a tree i simply said " hang on there bud!"
Grandma: you guy’s generation is on to much technology. Kid: well your the ones that raised us. Other family members: ...
a depressed kid wanted to give me a high five
i just left him hanging
rape isn't a joke. it's a type of way of making friends, and to mate with other women. it's a way of art, and works on anybody! like this if you agree.
what do both a hooker and a customer have in common, they come onto each other
