Intelligence jokes
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
What do you call an autistic army special forces?
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!