Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Where do smart hotdogs end up?
On the honor roll!
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
What are intelligent people in the US called??
"Tourist".
