Insult jokes

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.

Eat my ass!

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.

Your mom #69.

I see a worm. Oh, no, it's just your hairline!

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

Yo mama!

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

Student: "But!"

Teacher: "Is something missing?"

Student: "Your parents!"

Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

Bully: How would you know that?

Me: Because she told me herself.

Bully: How exactly?

Me: She's on the phone right now.

Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

Me: Told you so!

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

Jimmy: Your mom is gay.

Me: No, you.

Jimmy: I have no mom.