New Insult Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."