Insult jokes
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
You're more depressing than your own abortion video.
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
Yo momma so dumb, the doctor wanted to give her a blood transfusion but she said no because she thought it would turn her trans.
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"