INS jokes

Tuna

    • Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

    Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

    Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

    Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

    Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

    Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

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    • Rape

    • Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

    I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

    My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

    Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

    Cigar

    • I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

    Ok, not really racist but still funny.

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    • Morbid humor

    • What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.

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    • INS memes

    Parachute

    • There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."

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    • Dad

    • What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

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    • School

    • Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?

  • 3

    • Kelly Clarkson

    • Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

    (And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

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    • God

    • During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

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    • Epilepsy

    • My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

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    • Rape

    • This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"

    I replied, "I done it as a joke."

    -April 1, 2020

  • 3

    • Rape

    • Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

  • 6

    • Gun store

    • I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

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