INS jokes

Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?

They're both dangerous to children.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Your family in a nutshell.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

What do you and Quasimodo have in common?

You're both hideously ugly and hide in the dark.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.

When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

On a desk in pure isolation.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?

Meatcanyon.

(Meatcanyon is actually a YT that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to, lol!)

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.

In a porn video!