INS jokes
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
Why did 10 have PTSD?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
If George Floyd was in the new Little Mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs I took plenty Now I can’t breathe
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.