INS jokes

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

The F in orphans stands for family...

This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?

"Meals on Wheels."

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.

You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.