INS jokes

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?

"Mum" and "Dad."

How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?

Just once.

I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.

Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?

He won't deploy the parachute.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?

Neither can be found.

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.