INS jokes

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.

Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?

They both use lots of oil.

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.

A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"

What is a pedophile's favorite song?

Jerking off in A minor.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.