INS jokes
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.