INS jokes

Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?

Who is the smartest student in school?

The scholar.

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."

Why do nuns go around in pairs?

So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?

None, both carpet munchers eat out.

Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.