INS jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?
Sally in 13 trash cans.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?