Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!
You’re mamma’s so ugly, even the toaster wouldn’t get in the bathtub with her.
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you." Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can ́t Run
Why is 10 so scared. Cause it was in the middle of 9/11
Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common...neither of them go pass 12.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
I was excited my teacher asked my for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
What does five dicks sticking out of the glory holes and five udders both have in common? they are ready for milking
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
