INS jokes
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why do rappers take time to prepare for camping?
Tupac-in-a-tent.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.