INS jokes
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.