INS jokes
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?
I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.