INS jokes
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.