INS jokes

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.

Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?

Ashtraynauts.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!

Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!

Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???

John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

Where did the cake sleep on the stove?

In a pan.

What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.

Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?

A: Her dead fetus.