INS jokes

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

Which room is the safest place in the house?

The living room.

What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?

The "Ching Chang Gang."

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.

I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.

What is the smallest room in the world?

A mushroom.

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.

I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.

Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.

The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.

Who is the smartest student in school?

The scholar.

Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

It couldn’t hang in there.

What goes up and down but stays in the same place?

Stairs.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russell