INS jokes
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?
Sally in 13 trash cans.
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.