INS jokes
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why do rappers take time to prepare for camping?
Tupac-in-a-tent.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.