INS jokes
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
What made people mad?
Planes in Fortnite Battle Royale!
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"