INS jokes
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
what was sally's role in a football game? the football ;-;
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...