INS jokes

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?

Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?

Neither did she.

What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

... A FLATLINE!

How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?

There are speedos in the microwave.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

How do you punish Helen Keller?

You leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why are Indians dark?

Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?

UNPROTECTED SEX.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

At what speed is the curry going at?

In a hurry to the curry, man!

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"