INS jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.