INS jokes

When does it rain money?

When there's a change in the weather.

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"

Person 2: "In Japan."

Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?

Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?

Neither did she.

What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

... A FLATLINE!

How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?

There are speedos in the microwave.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

How do you punish Helen Keller?

You leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why are Indians dark?

Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?

UNPROTECTED SEX.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

At what speed is the curry going at?

In a hurry to the curry, man!

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.